Archive for May, 2019

Dear Mares Nest

May 18, 2019

Remember my last open letter? I will get to that in a second

I have several disabilities. I now wear a hearing aid (again)-up until 2013 I hadn’t since I was 8. As for the issue about my not being alone since I was about 10-it had to do with me having low blood sugar despite not being diabetic. Even though back in 2012 I was able to stay all by myself in my parents’ house overnight for two nights alone.  I also have self-diagnosed high end of the autism spectrum-hence why I think I was having a meltdown/panic attack about fruit  last year (PS guess who does the non-Sunday fruit business now? Despite trying to peel her finger off a couple of times)- For instance as a child (and even now) I wanted to be able to leave on time,  tags bugged me (still do sometimes), and when schedules go “off” for instance I had  a meltdown twice   when the program in the next town was cancelled and both times I had no clue. But at least the first time they had an excuse of they didn’t have a “phone tree”. They do now. But somehow I got missed in the most recently scenario which was supposed to have been a potluck day-and I had brought a cake Mom made to it and it was further complicated due to the fact that my parents were going back to (town) to get some kind of shot for people their age and because of road work being done outside the building- the parents went around the building before I could catch them again.  So I was crying in the grocery store next door.  I couldn’t remember the Doctor’s name or anything but the crossroad location. I didn’t like kimchi, olives, or marshmallows as a child but I do know. But something I still can’t stand is “barenaked” white rice. That if Mom makes fritters (and white rice) we finally came to the solution of putting the leftover Korean veggie juice in a little cup for Dad and I to put on our rice.

As you point out previously I have obsessions about Disney characters, Redwall (IF I read it lately), or Not Always Right (you will see that in adult Gen 7 years of the Swansons). As for my hair-thing is I have low motor skills outside of typing so I can’t really braid my hair since I can get it into three parts but then I get really confused after I try to put right over middle, and then leftover over middle. but I can’t reach the back of my head to put a big elastic on it. If my hair hasn’t been done in a couple of days- the part not in the braid but closer to my ears turn into little puffs of hair which in a couple of days’ time start to drive me crazy. I can put a battery into my hearing aid. I have been able to go to (Two town away mall on my own)

As for work like you pointed out there’s only a limited amount I can work and no one is going to be hiring me for half the amount a “full” part-time employee would be working. Either that or you need a year’s experience, or you need a Driver Licence.  Or one will have to work with a cash register (something mom doesn’t want me to do because of my limited math skills). Also it has to be between Town on my other town’s side opposite program’s town) or to the Program’s town neighbouring town) since the job can’t be in Toronto.  I don’t have any um Babysitter training so being a childcare provider (which is what I want to be) is kind of is out.  According to luminosity (and also according to my own bossiness) I would make a good manager (the only problem would be the stress). Even though I do have a funny idea about a new kind of business.  Sort of the same idea as mystery shopping but not quite- instead of mystery shopping a shop you’re dealing with the rude customers who think they “Always Right”.  Let’s say a store has a repeat bad customer they call ( my business) and I send one of my employees to the store to follow the bad customer around the store. Once the bad customer starts acting bad my employee will tell them off.


My remaining girlfriends are all engaged. Also all the stuff I consume (aka SimLit, Music,  books occasionally) all deal with romance and SimLit sometimes largely cover Woohoo. While because my girlfriends are engaged now (not to mention the previously married girlfriend)- I want to have some woohoo of my own. But without a partner I can’t do that now can I?  My parents don’t seem to care about the fact they’re basically saying that Doris Day song “Que Sera Sera”.   Yet I want to have my own children so I have a safety net of my OWN for when I’m around grandpa’s age. My parents just suggest I keep going to (program either in the other town or in this town) but dating is a huge no-no in either place. But we can have FRIENDSHIP relationship only.


Some examples of finding others as mentioned online:

volunteering-not likely to happen besides if most of my experience volunteering is correct- its either minors or old folks like my parents/grandpa.  (not to mention the place mom wants me to help at is an old folks’ home but they don’t have laundry on-site they only things they have there are “Friendly Visitor” and “(Place) Market Assistant”)

church-minors or old folks and people with their own families

a “Potluck” dinner/dinner part-don’t own my own place so that’s out not unless I want to rent out my church’s hall.

asking my friends- that will go well when 1 been with her fiance since before I meet her in Gr.9.  Not sure about the other friend but around high school, and the one remaing friend been dating her fiance for a little over a year (but knew him 2 years before that).  That friend suggested online dating to me awhile back.

class/meetups-only for minors, or old people and for meetups its the same plus there’s one for single parents.

Travelling solo-not an option for the above reason^  I’m getting tired of travelling with my parents. When my married friend and one of my engaged friends are travelling with their “other halves”. Which do you think would be more fun?

Museums-have only small museums here. The Good ones are in Toronto

Bars/Coffee places- don’t drink either and in the former its noisy.

Library/Gym-same as church &classes  only old folks and minors.

bookstore-outside of malls there’s only one bookstore and its in (program’s town)

Dog parks-only dog we have doesn’t like other dogs. Even if I DID have a dog like that my means of transportation to get to and from the dog park is limited since unless it’s a service dog,  taking dogs on a bus is a huge no-no.

Work-obviously a no-no. “Don’t Date coworkers”.

online dating is out because my parents don’t trust it.

Matchmaking is also is out because it would mean I would have to travel into Toronto which is a huge no-no on my own.  I mean if I wanted to visited one of my friends in Toronto it would be like this “Take Mom into Toronto she does something else while I  meet up with Friend and then I will meet up with Mom later.”   I literally have to have Mom or Dad in the Doctor’s room with me when I go to a doctor because they think I wouldn’t be able to understand what the doctor says.  (And that doctor keeps asking about if I’m planning on becoming pregnant always an award question but this year more then normal-I mean what I’m suppose to say? Ask them if they know anyone available?)

Looking through friends’ fiances’ FB pages (the last one doesn’t have any friends because he only recently made a FB page) and it would be too awkward to ask my friends if I find anyone cute just to be told “They’re taken”.


Yet when I said I want to get experience in dating (ie the emotions) they suggest I read more because how to people who are men write about stories from a woman’s POV or vice versa? Problem is that makes me want to woohoo even more as I pointed out earlier

They also said I would have to take care of THEM when they’re older. But when the only thing I can do is COOK? I can’t change a bed-I did once last year and my parents got mad at me. I understand why Mom did her cast hadn’t come off yet.  Yet on the other hand they get so ticked off at me they want to kick me out.


So you see why I have to try  online dating despite my parents? I was so miserable when I discovered that all 3 of my girlfriends were engaged that I wanted to drink a entire bottle of pop OR eat an entire tub of Ice cream to deal with that problem. The closet I got to that is buying Cola drinks at bowling.